I had an amazing weekend with a friend I met through Flickr (yes, another). Drove to upstate New York to stay with Jennifer König and her husband Florian in their absolutely beautiful home. I was instantly comfortable and the home reminded me of a B&B—the coziest, friendliest, loveliest B&B you could ever stay in.
I got there on Friday night and left Sunday afternoon. In between I went exploring an abandoned mill (where of course I took self-portraits), ate the best burger(s) of my life (made by Flo), met up with some other Flickr peeps (Sunday) and felt that wonderful joy of truly connecting with another human being.
I did a lot of thinking about what we bring into our lives and the things we put out there into the universe. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, in fact. I spend a lot of wasted time on worrying over things I cannot control and fretting over what others think of me—I recognize that my insecurity (fear) will rule all my actions if I let it. It is a constant effort to resist that pull, and I see that so many of us have this fight inside us and it manifests differently for everyone.
I struggled to stop fear from ruling my life when I first got sober, but it continually and insidiously creeps back in. I’m making a conscious effort to let it go…let go the fear, let go other people’s behavior when they are reacting to fears…let it all go.
Working on this photo, these are the thoughts that came to me…release from the chains, release from the battle; I see that this image could be viewed as showing a weakness , but the light! The light is hope and freedom and release.
Release from the chains of fear. Freedom from myself.
I am free.
